[anon] Watching him trying to debug a problem is like watching a car wreck in slow motion. While eating poop.

[jeremy] i wouldn't form your opinions on vagina based on a night with CENSORED
[jeremy] most of them don't have teeth like that
[adam (pretending to be matt)] She said I "did Joseph Smith proud", whatever that means

[cash] whenever i see c++ as she is written
[cash] i am reminded of the relatively civilized universe i live in now
[cash] and i am relieved
[adam] I think that's what Dan just went to do
[cash] to be jesus christ?
[adam] No, to relieve himself
[cash] to go down on relatively short notice?
[adam] ...
[adam] I mean... it's POSSIBLE
[adam] He is in a stall
[cash] poor guy
[adam] Him, or the receiver?
[cash] the receiver of jesus christ?
[adam] ...
[cash] oh, you mean the receiver of the relieved
[cash] sorry, i didn't understand
[adam] The receiver of the going down on in the stall in which Dan will be the giver
[adam] ... or something like that
[cash] well, i'm relieved you cleared that up
[adam] Jesus christ, man, I'm relieved you didn't stall my going down joke any further
[cash] i'm confused
[adam] But you're married, does she know?
[cash] huh?
[adam] It's ok to want to explore your sexuality, just keep your wife's feelings in mind

[mj] so the cops come up to my apartment
[mj] and they are like these hipster cops
[mj] young guy and girl
[mj] and they walk in
[mj] and they are like "oh this place is cool is this a rental or a condo"
[mj] and im like "its a rental, whats going on with the dying guy downstairs?"

Coworker #1: "Trick or treat."
Coworker #2: "What are you dressed as?"
Coworker #1: "A disgruntled CENSORED employee."
Coworker #2: "Yeah, that's a really popular costume this year."

[me] so we were supposed to happy hour last night, right?
[ken] yeah i fucked up
[me] well my plans fell through for tonight
[ken] i am busy till like 9/10
[me] ah ok
[ken] but will prob be in belltown area later
[ken] i will text you
[me] nah, i'll be at home naked by then
[ken] like i said
[me] rofl

[me] "Moron manager: Do you really need these hosts for Q4?"
[me] "Coworker: Well, we don't need both, but we do need one."
[me] "Moron manager: Find another solution. I have no hosts."
[coworker] Yeah, that's fucking sweet
[coworker] That guy is such a fucking cocksucker
[me] Solution found. You can use my desktop.
[coworker] He is the reason I left CENSORED
[coworker] He has the personality of AIDS

[cash] almost all of them come down to, "Please stop telling people you can ship an air conditioner to somebody who lives in a yurt on an air force base in ulaanbaatar by tomorrow."

[alex] I didnt think I was going to get sex in 2011, but it looks like my cousin is flying up in a few months

You go piece and piece but your world is bound
There was of this mirror only shown
Darken image at the back of flesh
I am least the one who cries

Just the air firing red at the sky
Fear are all the filth in your eyes
You can`t understand what can you see
The world changes, there`s no tomorrow

So the world shall fear me
Like the silence in my heart

And the peace shall tear me
Through the darkness in my heart

So the world shall fear me
Like the silence in my heart

And the peace shall tear me
And the worries of the arrival

			-- "The Harmony Remains",
			   Mors Principium Est